Today was a good day…

Why?

I CHOSE TO HAVE A GOOD DAY.

I have many times failed to remember that I hold great power in how I want my day to be like. Life can throw random stuff at me, but it’s how I choose to react to my circumstances that’s most important.

Today I made up my mind that I was not only going to have a good day, but I was going to work on 1.) being affectionate to my husband and 2.) building him up with my words. I’m not always the best in these two categories.  I especially haven’t always been good at giving words of affirmation. I don’t know what it is. I always think of wonderful things about my husband, but in some weird way I feel awkward expressing them. It’s horrible I know. It’s probably a subconscious pride thing. I’m afraid of sounding cheesy and cliche. I’ve come to realize that’s such a stupid excuse. I know he feels so encouraged and loved when I do say sweet things and I know he needs to hear them. There are many times things are on the tip of my tongue almost about to come out and for some reason I don’t say them. I NEED to do better. I also need to be more physically affectionate more often. I’m better at this than I am with encouraging him verbally, but it’s definitely something I still need improvement on.  There are times when I don’t even like to be touched. I’m not always like that, just some times. There are those times when I NEED a physical expression of love. No matter what or how I feel, my husband needs to feel loved and desired through me being affectionate.

Today was going to be different.

Instead of him walking past me and not be acknowledged, this time I was going to grab him and hold him…kiss him…love on him…tell him he’s (dare I say it)…sexy. Make him realize what I feel on the inside. We all know guys can’t read us all the time (if at all lol). We HAVE to be vocal and physically affectionate even if we don’t “feel” like it. It’s crucial.

As I demonstrated to him how much I love him through some kisses and hugs today, I noticed my little girl watching us. My initial feeling was hesitancy again, but then I quickly realized no, she HAS to see this kind of stuff. I have to be an example of how a wife should treat their husbands. I get so caught up in life sometimes that I forget I have little audiences all around. Little sponges that absorb EVERYTHING. If I’m always acting distant and cold to her dad, how is she going to grow up treating her husband? Not very well. A child’s foundation of behavior is rooted in how his/her parents’ behavior is demonstrated in front of them. It’s so vital that I’m aware of how I act and portray her mommy and daddy’s marriage. I have to make sure that I NEVER talk down about her dad in front of her, much less at all. In order for her to learn to respect, I have to SHOW her how to be respectful.

The more I busted through my feelings of awkwardness, the less it became a hindrance at all. In fact, it became super easy to say sweet things to him and love on him all day. I felt closer and closer to him. I could literally almost feel the emotional walls come down. It was like we were dating again.

WE SHOULD NEVER STOP DATING.

The mentality of always acting your best in order to impress the other person. The excitement you have when you’re with him. The butterflies you feel when he grabs your hand. That kiss that takes your breath away.

Allowing myself to be susceptible to those feelings again was so rejuvenating. Those feelings are not far fetched. They ARE possible to experience again. How? I HAVE TO GIVE INTO THEM. I choose how I want to act and want to feel. Life is way too short to be too prideful to express and feel love. My husband means WAY more to me than my own selfish habits.

He’s my man and I’m proud of him, so it’s about time I show him and tell him so.