So I got stuck watching another one of those “super sweet really huge romantic gesture videos” again. You know, the ones where you find yourself getting wrapped up in the thought of, that is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen…why can’t more men do that?! I’m even guilty of thinking man, why can’t my husband do that??

The men on these videos take so much time in planning out some elaborate incredible evening to prove their love. The more elaborate, the more hits on Youtube it gets. It’s all is so amazing I know. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart so I’m a sap when it comes to romantic gestures. I couldn’t help but to stop myself in my thoughts this time. I realized that though I can appreciate someone else’s movie quality love stunt, I felt guilty. Guilty of comparing my husband to what society has defined to be “romantic”.

I use to give my husband such a hard time with the concept of being “romantic”. “Why can’t you just surprise me one day??” “Why  can’t you leave me sweet notes all over the house?” “Why not this…? or this?”  I’m like most little girls, who when all grown up, ponder up these ideals about what romance “should” look like. Due to popular culture, I’ve been subject to picture romance as some man who is desperately showing his love and affection to the woman he admires…surprising her with gifts and spontaneous adventures…spitting out this long spiel about how “he can’t live without her and how his heart longs for her when he is not graced in her presence”. Blah, blah, blah. You expect your husband to have these thoughts about you 24/7 and heaven forbid if he doesn’t verbally express those things to you. Don’t get me wrong, those things are great, but they can’t be expectations. If I’m always looking for some elaborate display of love, I may be missing out on the most meaningful ones of all….and let’s be real, what we expect of our husbands….are we really doing them ourselves??

Anyone can come up with a one-time short lived moment, but how many can come home from a long hard day of work day after day and still muster up the energy to drive the kids and I around town so I can finally accomplish the errands I need to do? How many change boo coo poopy diapers, or help load the dishwasher, or bathe the kids, or throw in that load of laundry in the dryer for me that I forgot in the washing machine when I got distracted earlier in the day? He may have not taken me to dinner in a lit up secluded place with a rose petal trail, but he sure did manage to give me uplifting compliments when I needed it the most. He found the time to play with the kids and distract them while I was able to take a bath. He gets up out of bed after just getting to lay down to get me a glass of water, or adjust the air, or grab a diaper out of the diaper bag…and he still opens the car door for me.

We get so caught up in the “every day” that we look past the most meaningful “romantic” gestures and displays of love there is. What can be more proof of someone’s love than being that present stable support day in and day out. That person who through 3 kids screaming in the backseat, still grabs my hand and looks at me like we’re the only two present. He kills himself working 2 jobs so we can afford the things we have and I dare to give him a hard time because he didn’t take me on some romantic evening adventure with maps drawn out to where we will end up? Sometimes a trip through the drive-thru can be opportunities to create the most unforgettable sweet moments. I can’t allow my idealistic expectations (only created by culture) blind me from the love-filled simple moments of marriage. I can’t let it stop me from appreciating moments that I get to witness like this…

or

or

What can be more “romantic” than him being the most loving and caring father to my children? What more can I ask for when I still get to wake up next to the man I love every morning and receive kisses and an “I love you” every morning before he leaves for work….and still finds time throughout the day to text me how much he appreciates me.

So maybe next time when I venture off in my head and forget about what TRUE romance is, I’ll stop myself, look over to the man next to me pushing two out of three kids in the stroller, and remember to soak it in. Soak in that gesture of love. Redefine the idea of romance.

So here’s to tomorrow…and getting my “little” romantic everyday moments.