Man, I’ll tell you, these past couple of days have been difficult. I haven’t seen much of my husband at all. As soon as he gets home from one job, he has to leave shortly for the other. (It doesn’t ALWAYS happen, just when his schedule works out that way) Even when we do see each other, our time is taken over by our 3 small kids who always demand attention. I know this is just a season we are going through….no alone time, both working to the bone, no “mommy daddy time”….

It gets tough.

By the time he gets home he’s exhausted. He is only up for maybe an hour or two before he has to go to sleep. He hates it. I hate it. With me being out of work (ha until next week finally), it’s something that has to be done, sadly. There are so many stressors that put a toll on us. Before this challenge, I had such a bitterness about not having time with him. Especially when he would fall asleep without us getting any real quality time. I would give him a hard time about it, telling him, “you put sleep over me”. I couldn’t help to think that. He would try and explain to me how exhausted he was and how he doesn’t mean to, but that he needs sleep. I didn’t truly understand this. I guess I didn’t want to. I’ve noticed recently it’s really putting a toll on him. Losing sleep, working so hard……Then I go and give him a hard time about it. The thing about my husband, he holds things in…bottles it all up. I never know how stressed he really is until he blows up one day. I never really tried to understand what he goes through. I’m always so busy thinking about what I go through. What I have to do. What the kids have me do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m busy as heck. I just have to learn how to see his side of things. It’s so goofy of me to think, but at times I would have the thought that him going to work during the day is having a break from the stresses at home. Stupid I know. He deals with a lot. I never truly saw that until now.

I thought I did before. I would talk things out with him and attempt to let him do the same. I didn’t realize what he really needed though: my actions to show that I understood him. Instead of asking him to help me as soon as he gets home, I have to let him collect himself and relax for a bit. I have to understand that he needs to. Our generation of women get so caught up in what they personally have to deal with as wives and mothers that they fail to cater to their men. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to undermine the stressful duties of our roles. It’s tough to say the least. It’s really the attitude behind it. The servanthood is gone. The selflessness is gone towards our husbands because we think we have to give it all to our kids. It’s always easy for us to hear that we should have  a “servant’s heart” for others, but we never put our husbands in that “others” category. This generation of women become so independent in their thoughts and have such strong minds, that they don’t let their men be the leaders of the household. They forget to serve and cater to them. They forget to show TRUE respect. It’s almost as if the men are represented as the “dumb” ones…the insufficient, can’t do anything other half.

This goes back to the king thing….treat him like a fool, you’ll get a fool. Treat him like a king, you’ll get a king.

By taking on this challenge, like I stated before, it’s really forced me to face my weaknesses and find solutions on how to mend issues in my marriage… issues I never knew existed. I realize now, that my marriage could be at a whole new and deeper level…stronger…much stronger. I had a good marriage before, but now it’s so much more.

When my husband started to get grumpy (because of being so tired) and started to fall asleep, instead of getting bitter and giving him a hard time, I MADE THE CHOICE to try something different. I gave him a massage…for a full hour. (I have no idea I could last that long lol) It was something that I realized he needed desperately at the time to relax him…to help him be able to get up the next day rejuvenated and able to get through. He provides for his family, I need to provide for him. If I can keep going like the Energizer Bunny for my kids, I need to do the same for my husband. I tend to forget that he’s suppose to come first because I think he’s independent enough to take care of himself. It’s time I break that way of thinking. Not only do I have to do this to please my husband, but I have to please God as well. If you ever question this, or seek help with how a wife’s heart should be, just read Proverbs 31…life changing. I strive to be that woman, wife, and mother.

Being self-sacrificing and serving is not something that should be thought of as a weak and timid woman. This type of woman is far, far from it.