Expectations…They can ruin things

So yesterday was my birthday…I could’ve expected so much from that, or I could savor what becomes of it and just let it be.

My husband and I both worked on my birthday and it started like any other day except that he bought me what I like to refer to as, our “two card” birthday tradition. One card serious, and the other humorous. It just describes our relationship so well. Anyways, I was stressed out with having to get both me and all 3 kids out of the house on time. He managed to stay patient with me and helped out as much as he could. I probably could have acted better, but I was still half asleep and human after all. After I left, I apologized over the phone for how I acted (own up and say your sorry asap). Later on in the day, we lucked out with our schedules and job locations enough to where we could actually have lunch together (which was nice being it was my birthday). After lunch, it continued to be a typical normal day. One in which I actually got off late. We had plans to get my husband’s brother to watch 2 out of 3 kids so we could enjoy somewhat of a “date night”.

Now here’s where the expectation part comes in…

My expectation of the night was to have a nice dinner, see a movie, and whatever else we decided. Because I had been out of work, we were on a tight budget even for it being a birthday night out. However, we were gonna make it as nice as we could regardless. I have to admit, I held a high expectation to have a romantic night out. I had a particular vision in my head of what it would be. It had been awhile since we could get away like this (even though we still were towing our littlest with us). Rule number one, don’t expect, just enjoy. 

The first thing that veered from “the plan” was the SOLD OUT MOVIE. NICE. Go figure, just when we make the plan to see a movie, it’s sold out. Ok, so what next? Dinner. A nice dinner. I wanted to try something different, good, and somewhat reasonably priced. So we drove around till we found a place I had heard someone tell me once was “good”. Here we are, two adults with a baby in tow, tight budget, and trying something new. Lol. So we walk into the restaurant we had heard about and were seated. As we looked over the menu we nearly choked on our own spit in awe of the listed prices. We were already feeling awkward…both underdressed, only couple with a child, much less a hungry fussy one who had to feed…the last thing I wanted to do was shamefully walk out because we “couldn’t afford it”. So we agreed to split the ridiculously over priced entree, “fish and chips”. In both of our minds, our expectation of the fish and chips was how we’ve typically eaten it before, fried fish fingers with fries. HA! When our plate came out…let’s just say it wasn’t fried. The only thing that was missing were the gills and eyes. Both my husband and I looked at each other in the same way, in disgust. Not only was the fish basically raw, but the portion was a ridiculously small amount. All we could do was just laugh. Laugh and eat. It was however, surprisingly good. Not what we had in mind to eat, but nevertheless good. After we had finished our unexpected dinner, we left. By this time, it was getting late and because it was a Thursday night, everything was closing down. We ended up just pulling into Sonic to grab a snack (because of our small almost swimming dinner) and a limeade. Go figure lol. Even at Sonic we managed to embarrass ourselves. Let’s just say, the way my husband orders through an intercom system is quite comical to say the least. We spent the next hour just laughing hysterically over the hundreds of jokes we had about the night.

You see, I could have given into the disappointment of the night not living up to what I had expected in my head. I have to admit, I started to at first. It was one messed up thing after the other. I wanted the night to be a nice memory. However, it was a nice memory! It may have not been the memory I EXPECTED to have, but it was memorable nonetheless. In fact, we probably wouldn’t have had as much fun, laughter, and joy if it did go as expected. That’s the thing with life and marriage, if we live for the expectations that we have, always looking ahead, we will miss out on all the little moments of UNexpected happiness taking place in the present. As we all know, life doesn’t always go as planned. Husbands don’t always do what you had in your head for them to do. If we are constantly setting expectations, in our own individual processed frame of mind, we are leaving an open door for failure. It’s all about perspective as well. We can choose to see the negative in the moment, or we can choose to see the good in it.