As you can tell by my combined posts, my days have gotten a lot more hectic lately…

To be honest, it’s been really hard not to act stressed out. I do have to say that I’ve spouted out in ways that I shouldn’t have a couple of times. One thing I did realize, was how patient my husband has been acting more lately. He has been noticing the changes and efforts that I have been putting in and it really has made his actions and words less abrasive as well. Today, we both each had a moment, at separate times, of venting out an “ugly tone”. The thing that’s different about it now is that I don’t allow my pride to take over. I don’t just “let it be” and make excuses in my head for it. After I gave him a moment of an attitude, I quickly said, “I’m sorry for being ugly. I had a stressful day today.” Once I apologized, I grabbed his hand in mine and asked him how his day went.

This was something I struggled with so much before. I never corrected myself after I would act impatient with him. I guess I didn’t think I needed to. I just always figured he understood me…that he understood why I was stressed. First of all, we can’t assume that our husbands understand how we feel. Second, even if they did, it’s still wrong to not apologize for our actions. Don’t sit quiet. Don’t let your thoughts become toxic. Change them before they do. There is something so freeing about owning up to your wrongs…vocalizing and showing remorse for them. It breaks down such an emotional hindrance in the relationship.

Another thing that I have been working on is “words of affirmation”. I have been trying harder to speak positively to my husband. Encourage him. Compliment him. I always thought that I didn’t have to do it because “he already knew”. That’s such a lie that I use to tell myself. How do we make someone believe that we love or admire them when we never show it in our words and actions?  My husband, being a guy, hardly ever vocalizes that he needs encouragement (they rarely do). Guys (most anyway) aren’t as vocal as we are when it comes to what they need. I guess because of his masculine persona, I didn’t remind myself that he still needs affection and love through words and actions as much as I may do.

That’s the thing, we need constant reminders…and that’s ok. I’m going to mess up. As long as I remind myself of what my husband needs and what God expects from me. All of this, that I’m making a valiant effort in working hard to maintain, has made me have a true understanding of what my husband goes through and needs. I no longer have bitterness towards him. I basically have re-fallen in love with him….a deeper love. A love containing true RESPECT. It’s time to start fighting the “I don’t feel like its” in the relationship. Don’t love lazily, love passionately….holding NOTHING back. It WILL pay off, I promise.