When was the last time you felt true joy? Like a deep, contentment, gratitude and happiness. If you felt that recently, do you find it hard to consistently stay in that feeling? Sometimes we find ourselves so caught up in the monotonous day to day of trying to survive our to-do’s and responsibilities, that we almost forget to seek after that feeling of joy. Maybe we don’t even know how to anymore.

Let’s start with the definition of what joy is. The dictionary defines joy as a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. So what is it that keeps us from feeling and experience this on a consistent day to day basis?

Here’s the thing that I’ve come to realize, there’s more than one level of joy. There’s a “surface joy”, as in a temporary feeling that is brought on by external and changeable factors, then there’s a deeper level joy that ties right into fulfillment and purpose. One of the biggest problems that we find ourselves in is when we don’t distinguish the two. So often we define our purpose and fulfillment into the “surface joy”. We all know that there are things in this world that make us happy. It gives us a temporary high of excitement. That’s the “surface joy” I’m referring to. Because of this, people are always chasing those things that give off that feeling. However, trying to define your joy within that temporary, ever changing high within material things, only sets you up to be vulnerable to the inconsistencies of ups and downs. We cannot set our happiness into something that we can potentially lose. We feel a sense of hopelessness because we feel like something is wrong with us. We wrap our identity in the fact that our happiness changes. It’s not that something is wrong with us, it’s that we haven’t been striving for the right kind of joy.

The sustainable joy comes at a deeper level. The joy that we all aim to achieve. It ties right along with purpose. Sustainable joy is set in the things that will always be present as long as we have breath: us and God. It’s setting our happiness on the inside first. The only way we can achieve this consistent feeling is to practice it daily through intentionality.

What does that mean?

Through seeking out growth and betterment, as we discussed last week, we gain a perspective shift in the every day moments that we encounter. Sustainable joy, or anything sustainable for that matter, is a direct reflection of the growth you put into yourself and the willingness to practice it. You will learn to retrain your thoughts into ones that will make you better and not tear you down. You begin to recognize the areas that you feel weak in and need to feed in order to grow in them. That’s step one to finding joy, recognizing the issue and being aware to consciously fix it and grow from it. Step two is connection.

One of the most crucial mistakes we make as human beings is disconnecting ourselves from the awareness of being in the moment. We rush around on auto-pilot and forget how to pause and be present. Being present in what we do and for who we encounter. Losing connection makes us lose value. We lose understanding. We take moments, things, and people in our lives for granted. We lose empathy for people and quite frankly, the value of life. We HAVE to be intentional about making ourselves aware in each moment. We have to step out of the finite struggle or situation at hand, pause, take a deep breath, FEEL, and BE IN every moment. You are given breath to live to the next moment, therefore you have purpose. With every breath is a chance to live out a purpose. Becoming connected to what you are given will then lead to step three: appreciation. Feeling grateful is the essence of joy. The deeper level joy.

I get life throws some serious curveballs that knock you clean on your face. You may be saying right now, “yea easy for you to talk about joy, you’re not going through _____”. Thing is, everyone at some point experiences tough and trying times. Though circumstances may look variously different, we all have struggles and commonalities. Realizing this is actually what reestablishes hope because you’re not alone in feeling the things you feel. When you go through struggles you basically have two options: to get through it and come out stronger, or to linger in it and let it take you down.

Growing and getting better doesn’t always prevent you from going through the tough times, but it equips you to see the value in those tough times. Have you ever not been able to get through anything? You’re still here right? Think about it, did you become stronger from that? I’m bringing up and talking about the struggles because doing so establishes a perspective shift. What often keeps us from finding joy are our struggles right? So if we make ourselves aware that we are tougher and stronger than what we’ve gone through (because we overcame it), we can begin to appreciate what we’ve been through. We’re grateful for the growth and life after that time. We wouldn’t be who we are if it weren’t for that. That’s what it truly means to “consider it pure joy when you face trials”. It’s not the trial itself that is joy, it’s what you learn to appreciate because of it.

What good are we for ourselves, for our family, for the people around us if we don’t feel joy on a day to day basis? Think about anytime you come across any negative person. Has that EVER benefitted you or the situation at hand by them being negative? Nope. No one wants to hear or feel more negativity on top of what they’re already facing. Social media is a prime example of this. For some reason, people grow a pair and just say whatever they want. It’s a constant complain train that people truly don’t want to jump on. Usually they just get run over by it.

We have to learn to put a filter on our thoughts before we manifest them onto others or even on ourselves. A filter of asking yourself before you speak, “will this benefit me or someone else if I say this?” Our words hold power. We have to speak life. I seek out positive people. I love when people uplift me or others around them. They are contagiously encouraging. I want to be that for someone else. I want to be a life giver.

We are all capable of feeling joy and exuding it onto others. Start every day with taking 5 minutes thinking and writing down what you are grateful for. Make a list of 5 things. Do it even if you don’t feel like it. Practice the mindset of being in the moment and feeling grateful for even the small things. Promise yourself to do this every day. I have been doing this every single day for the past year and a half. I can honestly say, it’s been truly incredible. It’s opened up my mind and my heart to cherish my life. Thing is, we’re only given this one. I don’t want to get to my last day of life and look back regretting not appreciating what I had. I want to remember and smile because I didn’t waste my days allowing my troubles take me down. Instead, I chose to feel joy. 

I want to hear what you are grateful for! What are three things you are grateful for today? Comment below!

If you want to watch the live discussion of this topic visit the Whole Lifestyle Momma Facebook page, or the YouTube Channel! 

If you would like a “grateful” worksheet to help you start your mornings out with the intention of joy, click here so I can send you the free download!

Tune into to next week’s topic (8/19) “Why Am I Not Hitting My Goals?”!